The veteran-founded brand ZERO FOXTROT speaks our language. One of patriotism, professionalism, and as it turns out, a deep love of kickass movies. As one of the latest brands to offer military and first responder discounts with GovX ID at checkout, we wanted to take a look at the top ten best movie t-shirts in the ZERO FOXTROT arsenal.
GUNSLINGER
Contrary to this shirt’s implication, Zero Foxtrot tees aren’t just for drunk piano players. But if you happen to be one, then this one’s certainly for you. (Also, if are one, can I follow you on Instagram?) TOMBSTONE came out in 1993. As a very rated-R film, my dad made me wait an entire year to watch it. So, I watched it when I was eight years old. I think it’s why I grew up to be so well adjusted.
MAXIMUS
If I ever got a tattoo, it would be SPQR (Senātus Populusque Rōmānus) on my left shoulder. Why? Because Maximus Decimus Meridius, that’s freaking why. Also, because if I learned anything in college, it’s that everything sounds more badass in Latin. GLADIATOR felt like the first adult movie I liked exclusively on my own. It wasn’t a movie my dad watched a decade before I got to finally see it. It was mine. So, when the General of the Felix Legions confidently declared that what we do in life echoes in eternity, I found my path. And it led straight to a liberal arts degree. I’d like to believe the General would be proud of me.
TEDDY
MAN ON FIRE is a movie where Denzel Washington kicks so much seismic ass it registers on the Richter scale. Denzel plays John Creasy, a hard-drinking ex-special forces operator assigned to protection duty for a young girl in Mexico City. The girl obviously gets kidnapped and Creasy obviously goes to war with anyone who was involved with it, anyone who profited it from it, and anyone who looks at him funny. I mean come on, if something bad happened to the person who named their teddy bear after you, you’d want to burn the world down too.
WARRIOR POET
I am convinced that if I wore this shirt, I would become seven feet tall, and kill men by the hundreds with fireballs from my eyes and bolts of lightning from my arse. BRAVEHEART is the kind of movie that makes you reflect on your life. What do you fight for? What do you live for? What would you die for? Whether you punch a clock for a desk job every day or you’re a hard-charging bearded operator capable of moving nations to your will, remember this: Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
UNFINISHED BUSINESS
I’ll get this out of the way now. KILL BILL was the very first Quentin Tarantino movie I’d ever seen. Let the Film Gods judge me harshly, for I accept their punishment willingly. But just because I didn’t start my QT journey with PULP FICTION like the rest of the world seemed to, it won’t stop me from considering KILL BILL Vol 1 and 2 Tarantino’s finest work. This shirt is about as satisfying as the Bride’s “roaring rampage of revenge”, a bloody delight of swordplay, knife-fighting, and eye-plucking, and a film with a surprising amount of heart. KILL BILL warms the soul.
THE LAW
Ah yes, JUDGE DREDD. That wonderfully campy 1995 movie where Sylvester Stallone first uttered “I am the law” before Karl Urban came along in 2012 and made everyone forget it existed. No matter which decade’s film you prefer, this shirt evokes a dark and lawless future where operatives known as Judges preside over the populace, acting as judge, jury, and executioner. Know how they did this? By overthrowing the United States Constitution in the year 2070. So at least we’ve got that to look forward to. Damn, I’m feeling bleak today.
SQUAD GOALS
Here’s a movie containing guns, surfing, skydiving, and bank robbing. Which are basically Zero Foxtrot’s four main food groups. POINT BREAK is the definition of a cult classic. The more famous Keanu Reeves gets, the better a film POINT BREAK becomes. It’s just science.
Also, God rest Patrick Swayze. May you roundhouse kick dudes in the face for all eternity.
XMAS PARTY
I’m settling this debate right here, right now. As far as I’m concerned, there is no debate. DIE HARD is a Christmas movie. And if you don’t agree with me, then well, I question not only your observational skills but your patriotism as well.
Now that that’s out of the way, can we just pause for a moment and eulogize Bruce Willis’s career? Considering how many shlocky B-movies he’s made in the last few years, I feel like he’s singlehandedly keeping those DVD rental kiosks at your local grocery store in business. Or maybe he owes someone money. In any case, he’s fallen harder and faster than Hans Gruber himself.
CRUSADER
“Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath.”
And this is your tee if you believe in that oath. I know I do. Neither the box office or the critics were kind to KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, but then Ridley Scott, father of the director’s cut, released his three-hour long extended edition and reminded everyone how indomitably badass this medieval epic is. See this movie. God wills it.
LEAD FARMER
2008 was a different time. Does anyone today seriously think Robert Downey Jr could get away with playing a character in blackface? Hell and no. TROPIC THUNDER seems frozen in time, and yet it somehow gets funnier every time you see it. Seriously, whatever happened to that standalone Les Grossman film that was promised? Who knows, maybe after Tom Cruise retires from action movies and somehow manages to survive his increasingly ludicrous stunts, he’ll return to this character and give the world exactly what it wants.